


Even Losers Can Find Love

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2015-04-02
Packaged: 2018-03-20 22:13:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3667155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is an Eridan and Karkat fanfiction. It may or may not have actual fluff between the two, it may just be those two idiots having fun and trying to find love. KankriL9ovesCr9nus helped make it on Wattpad, it's based off of an rp with her. She is Karkat and Terezi, I am Eridan and Dave. Sorry if representation for the characters are wrong, we really did try our best. It's in an au where they all live in a big house and the humans are there but the world for Alternia never really ended. I do not own Homestuck, that privilege belongs to Hussie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Revvenge

Karkat sat on his couch reading his famous romance novels. Eridan lazily came into the room and dropped onto the couch from behind, not totally realizing someone was on it.  
"Get off me, Ampora!" The young Vantas yells.  
Eridan jumps slightly, and rolls off the couch. "Geez, wwhat's you're problem?"  
"I was reading and you rudley sat on me!”  
"Correction." Eridan sat up, brushing himself up. "I laid on you, landwweller. Wwhat are you reading anywway?"  
"I am reading a book. Why do you want to know?" Karkat rolls his eyes, then looks back at the book.  
"'Cause I'm bored." Eridan stands up then lays back down on the couch on top of Karkat. "Talk to me, wwill ya?"  
"Why should I talk to you? And get of of me! I am not your couch.”  
"'Cause I'm bored. 'N you're comfy." Eridan rolled his eyes.  
Karkat closes the book "What would you like to talk about? And don’t call me comfy”  
Ampora shrugs awkwardly. "I dunno. I just wwanna talk."  
Karkat rolls his eyes "Either talk about something or you can forget about laying on me. Wait, I have an idea. If you talk, you can lay on my lap; but you be a jerk and I get to lay on you. Deal?" Karkat suggests.  
Eridan scowls, but reluctantly agrees. "Fine. So howw wwas your day?" He doesn't really care, he just wants to talk to someone.  
"Ok, I guess" he sighs.  
"Wwhat's wwrong?"  
"Nothing."  
"Then wwhy wwas your' day just 'okay'?" Eridan stretches slightly.  
"Just because it was okay." He sighs resting his head on his palm  
"Wwell you're borin’. My day wwas fantastic."  
Karkat rolls his eyes "Why was your day ‘oh so wonderful’?"  
Eridan had a big shit-eating grin on his face. "I finally wwon against Sollux."  
"Congrats, you are truly inspirational. " Karkat responds, quite sarcastically.  
"Shut up." Eridan sticks his tongue out. "You really know how tah rain on someone's parade."  
"Well sorry, I just had my heart broken." Karkat looks away from Eridan and out the window.  
Eridan quickly sits up. "I kneww it! I kneww something happened! Spill." He demands, hugging a pillow.  
"Why should I tell you?"  
"'Cause I'm the only person here and you obvviously need to talk."  
Vantas pulls his knees up to his chest and sobs lightly "T-terezi!" He yells.  
"Awwwww, wwhat happened wwith Terezi?" Eridan mocks sympathy, but obviously wants to know.  
"S-she was making out with the Strider boy on the day of our 6 month anniversary!" He begins to full on cry.  
Eridan sits up and puts his arms around Karkat. "Ssshhh," He... Purrs? "There there."  
"It’s not okay! It means I failed her. I wasn’t a perfect Matesprit. Like I ever will be." he hugs his legs  
"You're right, it's not okay." Eridan doesn't stop hugging Karkat. "That doesn't mean you aren't a good matesprit to someone."  
"Yes it does. I failed her. I wasn’t perfect enough." He cries into Ampora's chest  
"Girls are wweird. You can be as perfect as trolly possible and they still wwill run off." Eridan starts to pet Karkat's head.  
"Then what did I do to make her leave me?! I freaking loved her with everything I had!”  
"I'd blame the human, not you. He must havve used science." He says with a sneer on his mouth.   
"Yeah, ‘cause that works." He sighs, sniffling slightly and being yet again sarcastic.  
"It's more realistic than magic, right? Maybe he has some kind of human genome that attracts girls to him."   
"Or maybe he is just better.” He cuddles into the Aquarius' chest wiping away his tears   
"Land-dwwellers are never better, especially the human types." Eridan's voice gets slightly hard, but he relaxes. "Wwould you like revvenge?"   
"I guess. Why not..." He smiles lightly up at Eridan.  
Eridan pets the Cancers' head one last time, then slowly untangled himself from him. "Let's go plan your' revvenge then." He grins quite mischievously.  
Karkat smiles, getting up "Let’s go.” Eridan stands quickly, his cape and scarf billowing about a bit. He grabs Karkat's hand and runs to his lab. Karkat smiles running with him to Eridan’s lab. They stop in the lab, and Eridan starts digging through shelves. "Look for wwhatevver you think wwill help." He calls back at Karkat.   
He walks over to some of the shelves. "Like what? How to make a pie?” He chuckles lightly at his joke.”  
"No, idiot. Something for revvenge. Wwhat do you evven wwant to do for this?" Eridan stops rummaging and turns around, sitting cross legged and looking at Karkat.   
"I don’t know.” Karkat goes and sits besides him.  
"You wwant to get back at the human or Terezi?"   
“Both. At the same time.”  
Eridan rubs his hands together. "Itching powwder? Electric lipstick?" He throws out some suggestions.   
“Which ever you prefer for this.” Karkat grins, a bit evilly.  
He shrugs. "Wwe could do both. It's your revvenge."   
“Both sounds perfect.”  
Eridan smiled. "Let's do this thing."   
He smiled at the Ampora boy "Yes, let us."


	2. The Fort of Purple Friend

"Alright, noww wwe havve to figure out howw to execute the plan."   
"Catch them on their date later on today."   
Eridan nods. "You can put the itching powwder on the human's clothes. Figure out howw to do that. I wwill swwap the electric lipstick wwith Terezi's regular lipstick."   
"Dave’s respiteblock is next door to mine. I can handle it. " he smirks   
Eridan nods. "Let's go." He stands up and walks to the door, electric lipstick in hand.   
He follows with the powder in his hand.  
After the plan is complete, Eridan heads into the main room they were in before, waiting for Karkat to get done.   
He comes back with a smile   
"Wwell? Do you knoww if it wworked yet?"   
"I think so. "   
"Wwanna go see?" He grins.   
"Of course." He smiles at him  
He follows him looking out the window Eridan jumps up, this time is scarf really is billowing. He runs to the window to check if he can see them.  
"Look, there." He points at a blurry pair outside. One of them is obviously trying to pass off itching as nervousness.   
He chuckles "Heh. Strider, I hope you suffer."  
Eridan sighs. "This is more boring that I thought it wwoulda been." He turns around and faceplants on the floor.  
"Well, what do you want to do now?" Karkat sits besides Eridan  
He groans slightly. "I dunno."  
"Well, let’s go find something to do. I’m bored." He groans  
Eridan slowly gets up. "Wwanna go annoy Kan?"  
"Yeah, sure. " he stands up beside him  
"Hold my cape." He takes off his cape and hands it to Karkat. He then starts walking towards a hall, out to find Kanaya.  
"OK" he grabs the cape following him  
Eridan rounds a few corners and walks into a room full of bright colors and mannequins. "Yo Kan wwhere are you?"  
"I bet she is with the Rose human. Like she always is. " He sighs  
Eridan sighs. "Damn, I don't wwanna go see that Rose bitch. Let's just mess wwith Kan's stuff then."  
"Yeah, alright.” he grabs random stuff.  
Eridan goes through the fabrics on the right wall. "Damn, Kan, wwhat do you think you're doin wwith all this stuff?"  
"Making a bunch of stupid clothes." he goes to the left wall looking at the outfits made  
"It's not like wwe wwear different clothes." He scoffs.  
"She wants to be prepared for every event." he rolls his eyes  
“She doesn't evven wwear different clothes. I'm bored again." He sighs and walks out of the room.  
"Wow, aren’t you just a bundle of fun.” he groans following him out  
"Shuddup. Wwho do you wwanna see next?" He asks, and takes out his science sticks. He gives it a few waves.  
"I don’t really care. Oh, and I’m going to impersonate you." he puts on his cape. "I am a fishy hipster, glub glub!”  
"Givve me back my cape, finless!" He chases after Karkat throughout the halls.  
"No, ‘cause I am the highest blood and I do whatever I want!" He shouts as he begins to run around  
Eridan runs after him. "You idiot I am the highblood, noww gimme back my cape!"  
"No, It’s my cape now." He tries to copy his accent  
"You suck at that. gimme my cape back! I'll science you!"  
"Oh no, Eridan, don’t use magic on me! I’ll die!"  
"It's not magic you land-dwweller! It's science!"  
"Oh no Eridan, don’t kill me with your’ science or my mutant blood will soil your’ violet cape!"  
"Gimme back my caaaaapppeeeee!" He whines.  
"No its mine now" He sits on the floor hiding under the cape  
He runs past Karkat and slides to a stop, and turns around. "Gotchya noww, glubber."  
"I'm in cape town leave a message "  
Eridan unwillingly laughs a bit. "C'mon! gimme my glubbin' cape!"  
"I'm in cape town you can join if you would like"  
Eridan sighs, a smile on his face. He lifts up the cape and crawls under it with Karkat. "Wwoah, i nevver realized howw big my cape wwas."  
"Exactly why I hid under it." He smiled lightly  
Eridan giggled. "Wwe havve a fort."  
"We need a name for our fort."  
"A name? Wwhat wwould wwe name it? And wwhy?"  
"We are naming it because things are better with names.. I honestly can't think of a name.. Can you?"  
"Um... fortress of solitude? I don't knoww.  
"Pick a fun one like Cuddle Fort or something like that."  
"Fine. Howw about the Purple Friend Fort, if you wwanna go all soft on me"  
"I’m not going soft on you. And The Purple Friend Fort sounds lovely." Karkat smiles.  
"K, good. That’s wwhat it’ll be called then." Eridan scowls but it's easy to tell he's actually happy.  
"I rule the fort. I am its leader. Ok. No if’s, and’s, or but’s about it, or this is the last time you'll see your cape."  
"But its my cape! I should be the forts leader."   
"But who decided it was a fort? I did. I am the leader."   
"If I let you be the leader do I get to havve my cape back after?"  
"No, it's my cape now."  
"No, it’s still mine."  
"Don't you have like twenty of these things?”  
"Yeah, but that ones my favvorite." Eridan whines.  
"Well it's my favorite now." Karkat grins.  
Eridan tackles him, yelling "You shitsponge!"  
" I'm not a shitsponge!" He shouts trying to get the Aquarius off him.  
"Yeah you are!" Eridan shouts as well, wresting Vantas to the point of the cape being tangled up around the both of them. "Noww look wwhat you'vve done!"  
"I didn't do a thing. You're the one who tackled me." He yells back, trying to get untangled.  
Eridan lay down and starts sulking on the ground, refusing to get up. "You’re the one wwho took my cape."  
"Actually, you made me hold it when we went into Kanaya's room and never asked for it back so I just decided to wear it."  
"I wwas expectin it back wwhen wwe had gone out of Kans room, you intolerable trout!"  
"You should have asked for it back you hipster."  
"I didn’t think I needed to. It’s my cape anywway." He's pouting now, and turns to face away from Karkat.  
"Well now it's my cape. Thanks Eridan." He pats the highblood's head.  
Eridan grabs onto the cape, which is still wrapped around him. "No, its still mine.”  
"A mutant touched your cape, you sure you still want it, ‘oh mighty highblood’?"  
"Yes." he says pitifully.  
"Well nope, sorry, It's mine. " Vantas attempts to cuddle into the cape. Eridan tries to pull the excess cape towards himself. "You better back off Ampora, or I'll get Sollux to kick your butt like he always does."  
"Does not!"   
"Not what I heard from Feferi."  
"You shut up. They're as bad as that Rose human."  
"You are a jerk." Karkat tries to roll away in the cape.   
"So are you." He obviously can't because Eridan is still laying on it. They're yelling and rolling around in the hallway.   
"Let me keep the cape."  
"No."  
"Why not?!"  
"'Cause it’s mine!" Coming from the other end of the hallway are Dave and Terezi, who seem un-electrified. They pair see Karkat and Eridan rolling on the ground, and Dave is now laughing hysterically on the floor.  
"I can smell Fish and Karkales? Dave what’s going on?" Terezi questions. Karkat looks at Dave and Terezi   
Eridan promptly stops, looks at the two, and immediately tries to untangle himself from the cape. Dave finally stops laughing so much so he can answer Terezi. "The fish is wrapped like a fish burrito in his cape and Karkat's trying to take the cape from him."  
"I didn’t know Karkles had a thing for Eridan." she smirks. Karkat sits frozen not believing what was happening.  
Dave continued to laugh. Eridan opens both his eyes and his mouth widely in shock. "He does NOT havve a thing for me!"  
"Ohh, I see, you have a thing for Karkles. Go easy on him, he is like a child." Terezi grins. Karkat hides himself in his sweater, done with everyone.  
Eridan had finally freed himself from his cape and whipped it on in a perfect manner. "Excuse me, but I have no "thing" for this troll. I wwould rather date that creepy clowwn. And I really wwould just like to knoww howw your guys's date went." Eridan asks, trying to figure out if the revenge worked.  
"It was exciting! Dave got itchy, which made me laugh." Karkat remained silent in his sweater, not wanting to look at anybody.  
"That's nice." Eridan, who was disappointed, picked up Karkat bridal style. "I’ll be goin noww." He turns and starts walking down the hall.  
"Knew it." Terezi smirked  
"What are you doing?" He pulls his head out of his sweater, looking at Eridan.  
Dave finally stood up straight and stopped laughing. "Gaaaaaayyyy!" he yells at them as Eridan, who doesn't look back, turns into Kanaya's room where they can no longer see Dave and Terezi.  
"Eridan what are you doing to me?" Karkat demands to know.  
"Carryin' you awway from those losers, obvviously."  
"I could have walked away, you know.”  
"Not wwhen youre all huddled up in that swweatshirt." Eridan sets Karkat down on a big pile of fabrics.  
"You could have tapped my shoulder or something. " Kakat sighs.  
"Wwhatevver." Eridan shrugs.  
"Can I go back to ruling the Fort of Purple Friend now?"  
Eridan smiles slightly. "Okay." He crawls onto the fabric pile and unties his cape. He drapes it over the two of them.  
Kakat smiles. "I rule all!"  
"Of course you do." Eridan is just glad he got Karkat away before Terezi could go on about the date and that Karkat is now happy because crying Karkat is not a good thing.  
"Wait. You just admitted that I ruled the fort in your cape. What is happening?!"  
Eridan shrugs. "I'm done arguing wwith you for today."  
"Okay, whatever you say." He smiles.  
Eridan takes his head and one arm out of the fort and digs into his cape's pocket. He comes back in with a big bag of Cheetos and his science stick. "Hungry?"  
"Why do you have Cheetos in your pocket?" He questions taking the bag.  
"I get hungry, obvviously." He says like it's the most normal thing in the world.  
Karkat rolls his eyes, opens the bag, and grabs a few "Wow."  
“Wwhat?"  
"Nothing don’t worry."  
"No, wwhat? I’m curious noww."  
"Just why? The Cheetos. The weirdest things you have in your cape."  
"i havve a guinea pig in there too." Eridan waves his science stick around and makes little fireworks.  
Karkat smiles, gazing at the fireworks. "Just leave it in there."  
"I wwas planning on it. I’m not an idiot like that Davve human."  
"True." Karkat chuckled, popping a Cheeto in his mouth.


	3. Evverything But The Kitchen Sink

caligulasAquarim LOGGED ON  
carcinoGeneticist LOGGED ON

CA: k kar you ready to wwrite some of this human fanfiction  
CG: YES BECAUSE I AM BORED AND HAVE NOTHING TO DO  
CA: so glad i talked you into this like wwho wwoulda thought right  
CA: Anywway lets start this  
CA: topic is gamtavv  
CG: OK SO WE HAVE GAMZEE AND TAVROS  
CG: THEY ARE BOUND TO BE DOING SOMETHING BESIDES MAKING OUT AND THAT ROMANTIC STUFF  
CA: right  
CA: I think they do that wweird rap stuff  
CG: OH YEAH  
CG: THEIR FAILED RAPPING  
CG: THEY CAN BE SO STUPID  
CA: okay  
CA: here goes  
CA: gamzee and tavvros are twwo regular trolls  
CA: nothing special about these twwo except the special goo gamzee eats in his pies  
CA: but evven losers can find lovve

CG: YEA SURPRISINGLY   
CG: EVEN I FOUND LOVE ONCE  
CA: kar wwere not supposed to put our owwn input in here  
CA: back to the story  
CA: it all started with a simple flush crush  
CA: oh kar  
CA: I just had an amazing idea  
CA: Wwe should make vvriska a part in this  
CG: VRISKA WHY HER  
CA: Isn't it obvvious  
CA: she and tavvros totally havve had flush crushes on each other  
CG: SORRY I AM NOT INTO STALKING PEOPLES QUADRANTS  
CA: you seriously cant be tellin me you havvent noticed it  
CA: its evverywwhere  
CG: I DON’T PAY ATTENTION TO PEOPLE  
CA: please  
CA: like that’s neww  
CA: wwhat did I expect  
CA: noww can you please add to this story  
CA: its supposed to be a group effort  
CG: SORRY  
CG: OK VRISKA COMES IN AND MAKES OUT WITH TAVROS  
CG: GAM GETS JELLY AND KILLS HER THE END  
CA: you knoww wwhat  
CA: nevver mind  
CA: lets not wwrite a fanfiction  
CG: I THOUGHT IT WAS GOOD  
CA: stopping it that short doesnt count as good kar  
CG: THAT WAS THE PLOT OF THE STORY FISH BREATH  
CA: but wwhere wwas the romance  
CG: I HATE THIS  
CG: I GIVE UP  
CA: youre no fun  
CG: SORRY  
CA: its fine wwhatevver  
CA: wwhat do you wwanna do noww  
CG: WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO  
CA: oh hey  
CA: guess wwhat happened to me  
CG: WHAT HAPPENED

 

CA: so i told feff howw i felt about her  
CA: and she shot me dowwn  
CA: noww shes totally hittin on that yelloww freak  
CG: REALLY  
CG: SHE REJECTED SUCH A FUN GUY FOR A JERK  
CG: WOW  
CA: exactly my thought  
CA: wwait  
CA: you think im fun  
CG: YEAH  
CA: oh  
CA: okay  
CA: so i wwas wwonderin if wwe could do a revvenge thing like wwe did wwith terezi and the davve human  
CG: YEAH SURE SOUNDS FUN  
CA: cool  
CA: meet me in the lab  
CG: WILL DO

caligulasAquarim LOGGED OFF  
carcinoGeneticist LOGGED OFF

Eridan gets off of his computer and runs through the halls to his lab. When there he sits on a chair and waits for his angry friend. Karkat runs into the lab, panting.  
"Hey." Eridan jumps of the chair and walks up to Karkat. "So wwhat should wwe do for this revvenge?"  
"Its not my plan" He smirked.  
Eridan sighs. "C'mon, I thought of yours!" He whines.  
"Well I never plan revenge."  
"Wwell then you're boring."  
"Thanks... How could we sabotage her is the real question here. Embarrassing her or just being jerks.”  
Eridan sits back down on the swivel chair and spun around some. "I'd rather be a jerk to Sollux, not Feff. Embarrassing her wwould be enough."  
"Ok but how would we mess with Sollux? Break his game system?"  
Eridan laughed. "That'd be a sight to see."  
"We would get killed if we did that" Karkat smiled.  
"Not if wee covver our tracks." Eridan grins micheviously.  
"A small game system. Like his 2DS. Not any of the big ones alright?" Karkat smiled more, grabbing a hammer.  
"Yeah. 'N let's destroy the hammers afterwwards." Eridan grabs a hammer as well.  
"We can burn them in a fire and just chill around it" Karkat giggled lightly.  
"I think I havve stuff for s'mores in my cape." Eridan puts his hammer in his cape pocket and exits the lab.  
Karkat follows him. "You have everything in your cape pockets"  
"Evverything but the kitchen sink." Eridan jokes as they make there way towards Sollux's room. "I knoww for a fact he's out wwith Feff right noww."  
Karkat chuckles lightly at his joke, following him to the Captor's room. "Well that’s good."  
They enter the yellow-blood's room and Eridan starts sifting through the mess. "I found one." He says triumphantly as he holds up a Nintendo 64, a gift from a human obviously.  
"Good" he smirks heading to the Gemini's bedside looking under the bed. He pulls out a Gameboy  
"Ready, set, go." Eridan counts down and hits the Nintendo with his hammer, causing a big dent and a crack in it. Karkat hits the Gameboy with all his might causing several cracks and dents. Eridan winds up like a dork, then hits the Nintendo with a massive hit, causing it to break apart completely.  
Karkat hits it one more time, then walks over to Eridan the gaming system in hand. "I think thats good Eridan"  
Eridan isn't smiling, he's clearly mad. "I wwanna break more of his stuff."  
"No, Eridan, thats enough" He tries to soothe him.  
Karkat's creepy mutant powers calm him down some. "Okay, fine. That doesn't mean I like it." He stands and walks out of the room.  
Karkat walks behind him. "What did you not like?" He questioned.  
"Not breaking more of his stuff." Eridan walks back to his lab to start a fire for the hammers.  
"Well I didn’t want you getting carried away." He sighed, grabbing his lighter.  
"I knoww." Eridan sighs, and started a fire in the middle of the lab. He throws his hammer in it. Karkat throws his hammer in sitting on the floor. He pats on the floor gesturing that Eridan could sit by him. Eridan takes up his offer and sits next to him, but not before grabbing two metal sticks. He hands a stick to Karkat, then pulls out a bag of marshmallows, a chocolate bar, and graham crackers.  
Karkat chuckles as Eridan pulled out the food. "Mr. ScienceMan here pulling random stuff from his cape."  
"It's not random." Eridan purses his lips, looking like he was offended. "It's things I need, obvviously." He shares the food with Karkat.  
Karkat puts a marshmallow on the sick and begins to roast it "Oh, were you planning on starting a fire and eating food by it?"  
"At some point. Maybe." Eridan does the same.  
Karkat smiles. "Of course you were."


End file.
